Giorgio Armani is launching his Emporio Armani underwear collection in the U.S. and he’s tapped an icon to wear it: David Beckham.

WWD has learned Beckham has been signed as the global face of Emporio Armani underwear. Beckham was shooting the ad campaign in Los Angeles late last week with Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott. The ads will break in fashion magazines worldwide beginning with the January issues.

I’m buying that shit as soon as it hit the shelves. Not for my boyfriend, I’m wearing them! That’s probably as close as I will ever get to David Beckham now that the aliens have captured him!

Jewel has been in hiding for awhile & I think it’s safe to say it’s because her breastes have deflated. Moon Boobs on the other hand is still properly inflated & is hopefully somewhere eating a sandwich!

Not a Beckham sandwich you pervs – ewww i just grossed myself out! Becks & Moon Boobs sandwich – ewwww . He’s like the Katie to the Tom – Oh, now I get it! ewww.

Dear Jesus – This isn’t the first or the last poor excuse for a video that has come out of the UK. Why don’t you have proper producers over there? Even the Goddess of Goddesses that is Goldfrapp & The Hotness that is Robbie Williams can’t get a good video producer on the hook. But let’s get back to The Spice Girls for a minute. No one in their right mind wants to see Moon Boobs half naked or spreading her legs in a video, in print, or in person – not even Becks! I’m beginning to think the silicone, the weave glue, & the botox fumes she emits puts people into a drug induced trance & they don’t notice when she strips down to her underwear for pictures! She’s not sexy! The rest of them just look like they are auditioning for Desperate Housewives which would be hot if one of them replaced Teri Buttaface Hatcher. Oh by the way, the song blows too. Thank you Jesus!

PS – These women seem to get sluttier with every kid they have! It’s a pop star curse!

The aliens are sucking the hot outta Becks! He needs to get away from L.A. stat! Here he is with the Crazy Cruises at a premier last night looking like a young Mr. Rogers. Moon Boobs was not able to join them. Hopefully she was somewhere taking singing lessons!

In an interview with Arena Mag Becks wants to set the record straight on his relationship with Crazy Cruise -

“We respect their religion. We respect everything they do and believe in. But they have never turned around to us and said, ‘You have to be a part of this’, because that’s not what they’re about. It’s never been about that. There’s been nothing shoved down our throats because friends don’t do things like that. They are amazing people who are just so positive about life and they have been great to us.”

Becks is a gentleman & would never kiss & tell!

People is reporting that Tom Cruise wants to keep David Beckham ‘company’ during the off season.

He said, “We will go out and fly some airplanes or race some cars or something like that. I’ll talk to Victoria and see if she’s all right with that. But we’ll have some fun.”

This can’t happen & we need to figure out a way to stop it! Tom is going to suck the hot out of Becks & replace it with cold alien blood just like he did to Katie! Next he’ll be announcing that Becks new name is Dave & not David!