Where Is Eminem When You Need Him?

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I’m trying to love Kanye West – I really am. He’s marginally bright, a talented singer-songwriter, & great performer, then he opens his pie hole like he did AGAIN during the Grammys tonight!

Nobody taught this boy anything about social graces. He’s that guy that mouths off a couple of times in high school & then gets punched in the face. First time doesn’t stop him so you have to punch him two or three times before he learns his lesson!

People around the last couple years are being pussies, we need us some fresh Eminem. He’d never put up with that shit! He’d punch him in the face & as soon as he bled on his electronic neurosuit he would cry like the little whiny bitch that he is! He’s the male black Madonna – high maintenance & annoying as fuck!

Pretty Boy Lost The Super Bowl!

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Karma’s a bitch for Tom Brady. Bridgette is probably laughing her ass off right now & rightfully so!

After about a week, the paps aren’t going to follow his ass around anymore because he’s a loser & Gisele is gonna hit the road! No paps, no press, no man face Gisele!

Hannah Montana Is A MySpace Ho!

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Disney puts the tramp in girls & cranks out hos like there is no tomorrow. Miley Cirus is no exception! It’s probably in her contract to be a full blown ho by the time she’s 16. She’s just doing her job!

These pics are said to be from her MySpace, so they put the dumb in her too. Rich & Famous 101 tells us to never post provocative pics of yourself on the internets, especially on MySpace!

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Matthew McConaughey Is Pregnant

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Matthew has knocked up some random chic but, don’t be too upset ladies, there’s not a chance in hell it’s his. Dude rides bikes & smokes massive amounts of the herb so it’s statistically impossible! But he seems oblivious & gave us this little diddy on his website -

My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together … its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far.”

LOL! He probably doesn’t know where he was three months or three hours ago! Oh, & it seems he owns a “cattle” ranch in Texas. Judging by the size of that man purse, I’m guessing he’s carrying at least a kilo of Texas hash baby formula! Gotta prepare!

Heath Talks About Life & Death

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“Having a child changes every aspect of your life – for the better, of course. The sacrifices are large, but what you get in return is even bigger than the sacrifices you make. I feel, in a sense, ready to die because you are living on in your child,” Ledger told In Touch Weekly.

Tragic Loss – Heath Ledger Dead At 28

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Heath Ledger has passed away this afternoon of what appears to be an apparent  overdose of both prescription and  over the counter sleep medications. It was reported by several news outlets that around 3:30 p.m. eastern time, Heath was found in his NYC apartment by a maid & a masseuse that had arrived for a scheduled appointment. He appeared to have been dead for several hours and an autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow. It could be several weeks before we know the exact cause of death.

Ambien was reported to be one of the pills found near the body & is a highly addictive drug. It is believed that Heath had dependency issues that remained untreated and was also suffering from anxiety and depression. In a recent interview with The New York Times it is apparent that the actor is deeply troubled by what he experienced during the filming of Batman describing his role as the Joker as “mentally & physically draining.”

“I stressed out a little too much,” Mr. Ledger said.

He tends to do that. He is here in London filming the latest episode of the “Batman”franchise, “The Dark Knight.” (Mr. Bale, as it happens, plays Batman; Mr. Ledger plays the Joker.) It is a physically and mentally draining role — his Joker is a “psychopathic, mass-murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy” he said cheerfully — and, as often happens when he throws himself into a part, he is not sleeping much.

“Last week I probably slept an average of two hours a night,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking. My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going.” One night he took an Ambien, which failed to work. He took a second one and fell into a stupor, only to wake up an hour later, his mind still racing.

Even as he spoke, Mr. Ledger was hard-pressed to keep still. He got up and poured more coffee. He stepped outside into the courtyard and smoked a cigarette. He shook his hair out from under its hood, put a rubber band around it, took out the rubber band, put on a hat, took off the hat, put the hood back up. He went outside and had another cigarette. Polite and charming, he nonetheless gave off the sense that the last thing he wanted to do was delve deep into himself for public consumption. “It can be a little distressing to have to over intellectualize yourself,” is how he put it, a little apologetically.

Michelle Williams Heath’s ex-fiance’ and mother two their two year old daughter Matilda, is said to be devastated and on  a plane to New York.

DListed posted these condolences from other celebrities -

“I had such great hope for him. He was just taking off and to lose his life at such a young age is a tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.” – Mel Gibson

“What a tragedy. My heart goes out to his family.” – Nicole Kidman

“Heath Ledger was a courageous actor, and a great soul. He gave us the gift of sharing his fearless and beautiful love – of his craft, and of all who worked with him – for which all of us will be eternally grateful.” – Focus Features, producers of Brokeback Mountain

“The studio is stunned and devastated by this tragic news. The entertainment community has lost an enormous talent. Heath was a brilliant actor and an exceptional person. Our hearts go out to his family and friends.” – Warner Bros., producers of The Dark Night

“It was with great sadness that I have learned of the passing of Heath Ledger. It is tragic that we have lost one of our nation’s finest actors in the prime of his life. Heath Ledger’s diverse and challenging roles will be remembered as some of the great performances by an Australian actor.”Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia

This is an unimaginable tragedy. Heath was a true artist, a deeply sensitive man, an explorer, gifted and wise beyond his years. There is no finer person on this earth.” – Todd Haynes, director of I’m Not There

It’s Official – Global Warming Is Over

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Wherever you are in the states, it’s frickin cold! All the football players froze their balls off tonight guaranteeing Tom Brady won’t be spreading his seed to random hos in the future.

I guess this is good for Gore but I am taking Bush’s side on this. Eff this! I’m young and pretty & I don’t deserve it! I can’t even got to Vegas right now without wearing a scarf & mittens & it’s not hot!

Bless

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Th Sun is reporting that Lily Allen had  a miscarriage.

Lily and Ed are in a state of shock. The bad news has been really difficult for them to take and they are absolutely heartbroken. Lily’s entire outlook on life changed after she found out she was pregnant. She was looking forward to being a mum and starting a family with Ed. She had turned her back on her party girl image and had turned over a new leaf. They are surrounded by friends and family are offering support. It is a really difficult time for them.”

Her rep confirmed the miscarriage saying, “We can confirm that Lily Allen has suffered a miscarriage. She and her partner Ed Simons will be making no further comment and we ask that their privacy be respected during this difficult time.”

Sadness. All the best to them.

What The Eff Is A An A&E?

The Goddess of Goddesses that is Alison Goldfrapp and her partner in crime, Will Gregory have blessed us with a new video from their album Seventh Tree that is to be released next month.

For those of us who couldn’t figure out what the eff A&E is, it’s Accident & Emergency. Thank god for the internet. If this were the eighties & I’d of had to try to figure this shit out for myself, I’d totally make things up to appear wiser & cooler amongst my peers. Like, Acid & Ecstasy or Athens & Egypt. Then all my high friends would say, “Oh I get it now……..” & slowly high five me while laughing with their teeth clenched & watery eyes. But it’s not really high five cuz’ they can only move so fast preventing their arms from getting up that far.

I miss the eighties.

I’m Scared!

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Wow – it was another big day in crazy town. Britney had a chance to maybe get some visitation rights back today but as usual she couldn’t get her shit together. When she arrived at the courthouse several hours after the hearing started she got out & said, “I’m scared!” Then she jumped in her SUV & went to lunch! She must be really distraught!

I’m sure she was scared alright – scared she would get some visitation restored & she wouldn’t be free to drink & drug & sex her new pap bf! What a skank. They did not restore her visitation obviously & there will be another hearing in February. Waste of taxpayers money but hey it’s California & that’s how they roll for celebrities. That shit wouldn’t godown in NYC!

You have to be a real nut job not to get visitation of any kind, especially if you’re the mother!

Kaplan was very tactful in saying that this was “not a victory” because it’s such a sad tragic story. It sucks that those kids don’t have their mother around but they will surely be grateful when they are old enough to understand.

Peta needs to get the dogs taken away – seriously

I Did It All For The…………….

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God I can’t wait till this douche pap comes out with the inside story of the crazy that is Britney Spears. The longer he stays in there the more money he’ll make & he deserves it!  He’s gotta kiss that mouth filled with chewed up nail & nail polish mixed with a little frapp, cheetos & marlboro lights. He probably doesn’t have to do the deed though because she’s way to high to be that coordinated! Zexxxy!

Kiss My Assplants

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Megan Fox is a weird chick but I though she was beyond doing the fake ass & Victoria’s Secret falsies, especially since she probably only weights 90 pounds & is not Black, Puerto Rican, or Kim Kardashian. Even the people is the background are laughing at her ass! She can’t sit down cuz they may squirt out to the side or something!

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Let The Party Begin!

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Nicole Richie finally popped & didn’t fail to deliver a dumb ass celebrity name -

Harlow Winter Kate Madden

Let’s analyze – Who the hell wants four names? WTF is Harlow? I don’ think Jean would approve & would be horrified. And last time I checked the majority of peeps hate Winter!

Kate reminds everyone of the crazy Cruise aliens & should be banned from all baby name books. Madden, well that’s a given.

Poor baby but lucky us, these two will get the party started asap. She has probably shut down visitation & is on the roof of the hospital with a pipe as we speak! I’m refreshing TMZ every two minutes!

What? At least she waited!

Mick Is That You?

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Janice Dickinson  does her best Mick Jagger impression somewhere is hell.

So Young – So Angry

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It’s hard to be a closet gay. He’s got so much woman in him he’s getting all hormonal. Change of life is gonna be a bitch!

Anyway, Newsweek recently attempted to interview him to promote his Broadway debut of “Whinesalot” “Spamalot” & he returned the favor by being a whiny bitch! Here’s the goods -

Have you seen “Spamalot”? The first time I saw it I thought it was the stupidest thing I’d ever seen in my entire life. My tour drummer is the “Spamalot” drummer, and [he] said you’ve got to see it again. How did you get into a fight with that lady on a plane? I’m not going to talk about it.

I was just curious because you’ve never talked about it. I did talk about it.

What about the Kelly Ripa thing? I’m not going to discuss it.

Did you think it was homophobic? I’m not going to discuss it.

What do you want to talk about? I think we’re done.

Can we talk about something fun? No, we’re done. I thought NEWSWEEK would be more reputable. I’m surprised.

But I think people are curious about it. It was a year ago. This is NEWSWEEK. It’s not the National Enquirer. I’d hate to have a job where I had to be rude to people.

We’re just having a conversation. Change the subject! I’d never take a job where I had to do something that I didn’t want to do.

What about all those Ford commercials on “American Idol”? That wasn’t a job.

It was part of your job. It wasn’t a Ford commercial. It was a music video. It was a completely different thing.

I’ll change the subject. What do you do for fun? I watch the news. I read news magazines, but I’m reconsidering that now.

Are you going to watch “Idol”? I haven’t watched since season four. I compare it to high-school football–if it weren’t for high school, we wouldn’t be successful, but I don’t need to keep going to the football games.

LOL! – The football comparison is hysterical! They should invite him to sing at the gay football playoffs. Yes, there is such a thing.

This broad thinks she would have had a chance in hell of making it big without the machine that is AI? Dream on sweetheart! I love how these hos get a god complex after they make it big on AI. They should kiss Cowell’s ass & be grateful to get outta the trailer park!

Dumb broad.